The previous two posts were reportedly a bit solemn and against the spirit of the blog, so I am writing this one just to "wash" away the sobering effect.
Though I had been anticipating it, the gravity of this issue "pressed" on me when I woke up to my first morning in Delft. I pondered hard about this while brushing my teeth, and a realization zipped past me that millions of people must have scratched their heads to find the perfect solution to bridge this fundamental divide between civilizations, this irreconcilable difference between those who wash and those who wipe. I also realized that probably this is what the "American Born Confused Desis" were afterall confused about. To paraphrase Kipling -
Ofcourse, paperwork was a completely unacceptable option. Because you know that you could wipe and wipe till, mixing metaphors and anatomy, you are blue in the face but you'll still be a dirty bum. I had to be true to myself and my ablutionary identity.
After 10 minutes of "brainstorming" and several inspection visits to the site, when no fool-proof epiphanies presented themselves to me, I resorted to Google - the nanny whom you reach for everytime you are in trouble and need a quick answer. I tried searching for signs of any trails my predecessors followed to their road of redemption. and then there they were...
I was amazed by the creativeness of people that spanned across religions and nationalities. A plethora of ingenious tricks and postures were advocated, including pumice, bottles, cups and even shoes! I'll give out the ones that i found to be the most interesting ones.
One sore-pressed soul came up with what might be described as the 'Ganga solution': take a purificatory bath each time you go to the loo.
The suggestion, however, has inbuilt impracticalities. For one thing, many bathrooms don't have showers but bathtubs, filling which is an awkwardly time-consuming exercise, with your host wondering what on earth is taking you so long in there, and an impatient queue of fellow guests building up outside the door. Moreover, immersion in the stagnant water of a tub merely means a redistribution of ritual and other pollution rather than its elimination.
Another recommended the use of one's shoe as a receptacle to convey water from the tap to the site of application. True, you'd have to walk around with one wet shoe. Still, better squelchy toes than an icky bottom. But what if you're wearing open-toed slippers or sandals?
As for me, I finally zeroed onto one particular solution and improvised it a bit according to the given loo. After having performed the whole maneuver successfully, I felt like coming off age. I could now proudly say with a click of the tongue - "Yep! Been there, Done that!"
Though I had been anticipating it, the gravity of this issue "pressed" on me when I woke up to my first morning in Delft. I pondered hard about this while brushing my teeth, and a realization zipped past me that millions of people must have scratched their heads to find the perfect solution to bridge this fundamental divide between civilizations, this irreconcilable difference between those who wash and those who wipe. I also realized that probably this is what the "American Born Confused Desis" were afterall confused about. To paraphrase Kipling -
East is Lota, West is TP,
And never the twain shall meet
Not even when both stand presently,
at God's great toilet seat
Something inside signaled me to hurry up. I summoned my creative faculties & some coffee and immediately got down to the task at hand.And never the twain shall meet
Not even when both stand presently,
at God's great toilet seat
Ofcourse, paperwork was a completely unacceptable option. Because you know that you could wipe and wipe till, mixing metaphors and anatomy, you are blue in the face but you'll still be a dirty bum. I had to be true to myself and my ablutionary identity.
After 10 minutes of "brainstorming" and several inspection visits to the site, when no fool-proof epiphanies presented themselves to me, I resorted to Google - the nanny whom you reach for everytime you are in trouble and need a quick answer. I tried searching for signs of any trails my predecessors followed to their road of redemption. and then there they were...
I was amazed by the creativeness of people that spanned across religions and nationalities. A plethora of ingenious tricks and postures were advocated, including pumice, bottles, cups and even shoes! I'll give out the ones that i found to be the most interesting ones.
One sore-pressed soul came up with what might be described as the 'Ganga solution': take a purificatory bath each time you go to the loo.
The suggestion, however, has inbuilt impracticalities. For one thing, many bathrooms don't have showers but bathtubs, filling which is an awkwardly time-consuming exercise, with your host wondering what on earth is taking you so long in there, and an impatient queue of fellow guests building up outside the door. Moreover, immersion in the stagnant water of a tub merely means a redistribution of ritual and other pollution rather than its elimination.
Another recommended the use of one's shoe as a receptacle to convey water from the tap to the site of application. True, you'd have to walk around with one wet shoe. Still, better squelchy toes than an icky bottom. But what if you're wearing open-toed slippers or sandals?
As for me, I finally zeroed onto one particular solution and improvised it a bit according to the given loo. After having performed the whole maneuver successfully, I felt like coming off age. I could now proudly say with a click of the tongue - "Yep! Been there, Done that!"
